Monday, January 7, 2013

Hawaii Day 6 – In Which I am Conscripted by the Hanalei Canoe Club.

Hawaii Ded 2012 Jan 2013 Day 5 007

Today wasn’t as rainy and windy as it has been, which was a good thing as Pepi had planned for us to join in an outrigger canoe session at the Hanalei Canoe Club.

When we arrived at the Canoe Club I wasn’t sure what to expect. Actually that’s not entirely true. I was expecting a group of happy Hawaiians wearing grass skirts and flower leis on their heads, maybe a pig steaming in a pit somewhere while natives played ukuleles, while several outrigger canoes carved from logs and filled with Hawaiians wearing only grass thongs swooshed by down the river. We would be welcomed with some sort of ceremony, and then we would all step gracefully into our own canoe, and paddle off down the river, plucking bananas and coconuts from the overhanging trees.

So when Brigadier General (Tall) Julie, Colonel (Short) Julie, and Lance Corporal (Stocky) Diane, all of the US Marine Outrigger Canoe Corps, Hanalei Crew, greeted us at the gate, I was slightly surprised.

Within seconds of arriving, Tall Julie was barking out orders to fill out waivers, Short Julie had us all snapping to attention as she handed out paddles, and lining up to put the fiberglass shells in the water.

Hawaii Ded 2012 Jan 2013 Day 5 005

Jacob and Pepi Awaiting orders.

After we were kitted out, we received our standing orders from Short Julie on how to hold the paddle, how to sit in the canoe, and exactly how to complete a stroke.

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: TROOPS! YOU WILL HOLD THE TOP OF THE PADDLE LIKE THIS!

Us: Ummm like how?...sorry could you show us that ag…

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: BOTTOM HAND WILL BE ONLY ONE HAND WIDTH ABOVE THE BOTTOM OF THE SHAFT!

Us: Oh wait, Sorry, where does my left hand go?

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: ATTENTION! YOU MUST LEAN FORWARD AND LIFT YOUR OPPOSING BUTT CHEEK OFF THE BENCH, WHILE DIPPING THE PADDLE INTO THE WATER AT AN ANGLE THAT YOU MUST DETERMINE USING THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM, AND THE QUADRATIC EQUATION, WHERE x IS THE PREVAILING WIND SPEED, AND Y IS YOUR WEIGHT DIVIDED BY YOUR BODY MASS INDEX. TROOPS! SOLVE FOR Q AND PULL BACK TO YOUR KNEE! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!

Us: Wha…?

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: PADDLE HAND FOOT WILL ALWAYS BE FORWARD

Us: What’s a paddle hand foot? Did she give me one of those? I’m not sure about wha…

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: FORWARD MARCH!

Us: Yes Ma’am

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: THAT’S ‘SIR’ TO YOU BUNCH OF NOVICES!

As we moved toward the boats I nervously hoped that we wouldn’t be sent out on our own and so I was actually relieved when General and Colonel Julie debated who should sit where on the boat. Apparently Seats 1 (stroke) and 6 (steer) were taken by the two Julies and Diane, so we were slotted into the remaining seats based on apparent ability, or disability as the case may be. I ended up in seat 5, which I was later told was the ‘Princess Seat’. I think I took this fairly well although I noticed that no one carried me into my seat.

Within a few minutes we were off, and stroking our way down the Hanalei River. I had General Julie behind me, and as a result I think my stroke definitely improved. It was either that, or be thrown from the boat for insubordination. I also learned that it is very important to keep perfect time with whoever is in front of you, or risk the scorn of the rest of the boat. It seems that I had particular trouble keeping time judging by the constant and loud counting and calling out that was going on behind me.

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: NUMBER FIVE, FALL IN

Me: oh sorry I’ll just try and spee…

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: NUMBER FIVE YOU’RE OFF AGAIN. I SAID TEN, ELEVEN, TWELVE, THIRTEEN, FOURTEEN, HUT! HO!

Me: Right I’m trying to…HO!

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: NUMBER FIVE, I SAID FALL IN! HUT HO!

And so it went. After a while we did get into a rhythm, and actually started to really enjoy ourselves. The river was the colour of coffee, and yellow and white flowers floated by on the surface. Bananas and bamboo swayed over head and the rain stayed away,

We paddled five miles, and were all happily exhausted at the end of it, even though it was only noon. We picked up some lunch and headed to the beach for an afternoon of playing in the waves. We’ve learned by now not to let a few clouds get us down.

Hawaii Ded 2012 Jan 2013 Day 5 012

Hawaii Ded 2012 Jan 2013 Day 5 010

Another day in paradise.

Thanks for reading

Cheers,

Jane

 

No comments:

Post a Comment