Last Day - Featuring the Red Light District and Other Clusterfucks....

Travis, in his natural environment.

Have you seen these people?


And now for my last trick, I will be in transit for 41 hours, sleep for maybe 5 or 6 of those, and make an evil plan for the downfall of Air Canada, who have also lost my luggage for me. But first, let me tell you a little about the last couple days of our trip, spent traveling from Luxembourg to Amsterdam, via Germany.
It was another early start for us to the train station in Luxembourg to catch our Deutch Bahn train that would take us through Germany to Cologne and then to Amsterdam. It was an uneventful journey that I won't bore you with other than to say we had First Class tickets which just made it easier for Georgia to fall asleep on the train without anyone to bother her. That girl can sleep anywhere!

The scenery was quite lovely as the train ran along the Mosel river through wine country, even if it was raining.

I wish I had taken a picure of the German man on horse back stopped at a train crossing as we went by, who flipped the bird to all of us as that was probably the most exciting thing to have happened. That and sharing our train cabin with two very nice young Mormons (?) from Arizona who were travelling on a mission (aren't we all on a mission?) and who spent the duration of the trip reading heavily bound books with the titles 'Divine Inspiration and God' and also 'The Soul: What is it?' or something like that. And when I say 'reading' I mean staring at the same page for hours on end with a pen in hand making random underlinings and notes. It was a real struggle for these boys to read their books and I couldn't help but wonder why they didn't just give it up. At one point the younger of the two was scrolling instagram on his phone in between the pages of the book. I was wondering why he was being so secretive about it and almost told him not to worry, God is watching him anyway so he didn't need to hide it, but thought better of it. Bless them and their convictions even if they had chosen probably the worst place in the world to do mission work - who exactly did they think they would convert? Most people here, refugees or otherwise, have already got their own religion sorted out, thank you very much all the same.
Anyway, it was about 3pm when we arrived in Amsterdam and found our hotel. We all got inadvertently stoned on the walk through the crowds of pot-smokers from the station to the hotel, I'm sure of it.
I was loathe to take too many pictures as Amsterdam was a complete gong show and I felt like it had had enough pictures taken of it already! Remind me not to go there again anytime soon unless it is like, the middle of February and there is a cholera outbreak and the streets are empty.
We did take the obligatory canal cruise but with a smaller less touristy company who also served drinks and snacks, and we all enjoyed it very much, even Travis despite looking like he might be choking in this picture...

This building houses the corporate headquarters for The Rolling Stones, who are based here due to The Netherlands being a tax haven. Maybe you can see their logo on the brass plate... maybe you could care less...?
Amsterdam is of course full of bikes and when I asked how deep the water in the canal was, I was told 3 metres, and that the joke is that it is one metre of mud, one metre of bikes, and one metre of water. About 30 seconds later as we cruised along, we heard a giant splash: a woman had just opened her car door after parking and knocked a bike into the canal. Whoops.
Apparently there are local groups who retrieve bikes from the canals and last year they fished out 15000!
The canals are surprisingly clean and we were told that there is a non-profit who fish out all the plastic from the water in little boats that are made from recycled plastic from the canals. And then one came around the corner. I swear these tours have all these things set up in advance.

After the tour we got some dinner at a great little Asian Fusion restaurant, where the fortunes in the cookies are also fusion:

Uhh, sorry, what?
Next on the agenda was a tour of the Red Light District. Yes that's right.
I had told Zoe a little of what to expect but I can safely and happily say that, in a world where it is hard to get a reaction out of teenagers anymore due to them having already seen everything on social media, both Zoe and Georgia were well and truly shocked! Scantily clad girls writhing around in shop windows, hoards of men roaming the streets, theatres advertising live sex shows, windows full of paraphernalia - it all left them slightly speechless. Fortunately, there is a real culture of respecting the sex workers here and abuse is not tolerated, at least not in public. It's an industry here.

It's all over quite quickly (so to speak) and you're back to this kind of idyllic scene.

As we once again had to get up at 4am to start our journey home, we had an early night. When we got out onto the street the next morning at 4:30am, it was 30% travellers like us, and 70% drunk partiers on their way home from the bars.
I won't ruin things with a giant rant here about the clusterfuck that was our trip home from Heathrow, as I've already done that on Facebook, and it's not over yet, but will say that I had one of the most fun trips ever and will miss my travelling companions greatly. Zoe is going to join her brother Jacob in Sointula for a summer job and then is off to McGill in the fall, and Georgia is moving to Paris to go to fashion school at the end of the summer. I'll miss them so much! I will continue to gather Silly Travis Videos to console myself.

The Ham Girls, as they came to be known. It's a long story...

Thanks for coming along, and until next time...
Jane

Luxembourg Days 127-932: In Which We Ride a Driverless Bus, a Funicular, an Electric Train, Several Elevators, and Find the Best Foot Bath Ever.

We have been tracking our steps every day on this trip and so far our longest day was our second day in London when we logged nearly 19 km in one day. Our second biggest day was Day 2 in Luxembourg where we put in nearly 15kms. The city is built on two levels with staircases connecting the upper and lower so we really got our steps huffing it up and down and criss-crossing the old town, so we felt OK about stopping for pastries and/or ice cream on a regular basis
Travis burned off his pastries on the playground near our place by climbing straight up these slippery metal poles. I didn’t want to outclimb him so I stayed at the bottom and made useful comments like ‘ring the bell when you get to the top’ and ‘Did you know I got ‘Excellence’ in the Participaction challenge in Grade 5. Just saying. The Flexed Arm Hang in particular’. I don’t think he heard me. Things get pretty funny at the playground later on…

The city has great shopping and we made a few purchases along the way. And by few I mean we had to buy extra bags for all our stuff to get through the bag drop at the airport without having to pay through the nose for extra baggage costs and I may have dislocated my shoulder carrying stuff around. It was probably worth it though as they really had a lot of great independent shops and I didn’t have to go into H&M once, which is a good thing as I have PTSD after my last trip to Europe where the continents shifted and species evolved as I waited in the Oslo and Copenhagen H&M stores while Zoe and her friend Terra tried on every last item, all the time strategically moving around the store so I couldn’t find them. Anyway – that didn’t happen this time, is my point. Apparently I’m still bitter about that.
One of the features of this city is The Bock -  a series of medieval tunnels built in the cliffside that separates the upper and lower cities. We had seen them from below after taking one of the elevators down and thought we should check it out. It‘s a good thing none of us were claustrophobic. The tunnels acted as shelters during the bombing of the city during WW2 and it must have been grim in there. I tried not to think about the many tonnes of rock over my head at any one point and also not to drop my phone down this seemingly bottomless well.

After many staircases and lunch and then more staircases, we ended up in back in the lower part of the town, which was a quaint tangle of narrow lanes, cafes and shops, and canals. If Sleeping Beauty had appeared on top of one of the casements or Rapunzel leaned out of a tower window I wouldn’t have been surprised.

Just as we were starting to feel a bit on the tired side, this little bus showed up, with a Luxembourgish fellow on board with what looked like a video game controller in his hand.

Autonom gave it away for us and Andy confirmed that the bus was driverless – he was just there to press reset every now and then. We all piled in and it trundled along, jerking to a stop every few minutes when, as Andy explained, ‘he sees something but cannot tell what it is’ ‘he’ being the bus.

Click here to see a clip of our bus ride It's a Bit Jerky

This was a fairly accurate representation of what happened when the train stopped. I wish we had a couple of these in Victoria. So cute, if a bit skittish.

Even though English is one of the languages spoken here, they still don’t get it quite right on much of their signage and advertising. It’s close, but not quite there. Like this giant banner on the main bridge into the city. ‘Luxembourg: Let’s Make it Happen’.

Make what happen? The Robot Revolution? The sychronization of traffic signals? The dripless teapot? Having said that, one does get the impression here that they are actually trying to make things happen. In the course of two days we rode on free giant elevators that we would be charged for in other cities, travelled on a driverless electric bus (for free), rode an electric funicular (free) that took us to a station where we got on Electric Light Rail and rode across the city (for free), passing stands of electric bikes (that are ridiculously cheap to use: 2 euros ($3) for 24hrs -more on the bikes later) and walked through beautiful parks full of leafy trees and solar-powered public washrooms. In a country of 500k, and a city of about 100k, it seemed like the future. To be fair, Luxembourg also has the second highest GDP in the world and is a tax haven but they also have a guaranteed minimum income based on your skill level, and they will send you to university for free. And don’t get me started on the common-sense bike lanes that work perfectly with the traffic. Users do pay for buses in the city but not the students or youth, and everyone rides for free on Saturdays.
But what may be the best thing about this city is this perfectly clean, crystal clear public foot bath that we found. After walking for hours and covering many kilometres on a warm day, the cold water felt like heaven on our tired hot feet.

The bath is fed constantly by a water fountain just up the hill and is clean enough to drink. The water fills the larger bath and overflows into the smaller bath where it drains so it is constantly moving and never sits. You would be hard pressed to find litter in this town anyway so there is none of that. It is officially called a Kneipp water-treading bath and there are some fairly specific instructions that one is to follow if one is to do it properly but basically one foot must be in while the other is out and the one that is out must have toes pointed down, and then you get out when your legs are feeling very cold, allow them to air dry (no towels allowed) and then do it again. There were a couple of locals there when we were there in the early evening and when we came back the next day, they were there again. It is considered a social event to attend the bath as well as being good for your health. I said I was thinking of installing one in my house but Zoe pointed out I could use the bathtub but it’s just not the same. It would be great if they could install one in Victoria but I’m sure if would be over-regulated and they would probably put it at Bay and Blanshard or something like that and ruin the whole thing as well as putting a surcharge on your taxes or making you have sticker on your car or something. As great as Victoria is, I feel like we could learn a lot from Luxembourg about what takes a city from good to awesome.

After the foot bath we rode another series of electric transit options and ended up back in the city. Even the rail tracks are amazing.

We have eaten dinner in the main square each night, which was always delicious – so nice to have vegetables again! There is a stage in the main square where live music was playing each night. Not to compare too much but I couldn’t help but think what Centennial square could be if we tried a little harder. In these walkable cities, the old towns are usually pedestrian friendly zones where pedestrians have the right of way. Delivery vehicles can still come in, but mostly it’s just people. Cafes spill out on to the street and it is so pleasant to be in an environment like that.
ANYWAY.
Just a casual lavender field in the middle of the city.

The next day, after a night of front-end loading and blade-sharpening in our little square, we though we would try our hand at the bike rentals. I had some trouble with the app and was trying to resolve it while the others went for a ride around town. After being on hold for some time with the company I had a message from Georgia that the mission had been aborted as, it turns out the tires aren’t very good on cobblestones. Zoe had her teeth rattled out of her head and said she was starting to feel motion sick from it so they came back to the rental point and we went up the sky rider instead – a cheesy but still awesome viewing platform that slowly rises, while turning, to a height of 70 metres.
The view was amazing, but what really made the trip memorable was Travis sitting in chocolate for the 4th time on this trip. So funny!

I’m not that great with heights but I thought this might help me get over it. Nope. It helped that it was enclosed in glass, but it still makes my stomach flip over.


























I also tried to step out onto the glass floored platforms at one of the elevators but that was really a struggle. Zoe had to basically push me out there.
I think my eyes are closed.
Before we went home we stopped at the playground and this happened. So funny!
Rag Doll Travis
We tried to get to bed earlyish that night as we had to get up early to catch a train, but our plans were scuppered by the back-up beeper and the moving of giant concrete pallets. We were a bit bleary eyed when we rolled out the door at 7 something that morning (so early for us!) to catch the train to Amsterdam. I wasn’t ready to leave Luxembourg and I still want to go back and do a hike I had planned but we hadn’t gotten to. Next time.
In case you are feeling sleepy and need to stay awake for any reason, you can watch this video of the back-up beeper and perhaps have it playing in the background, or set it as your alarm sound.
Night Time Back-Up Beeper

Last day of the trip tomorrow!
Thanks for coming along,
Jane

UK Day 14…?: In Which we Leave the UK and Arrive in Luxembourg and it is Lovely

As you can probably imagine from all my going on about it, we were very sad about leaving High Houses, and a little anxious about having another Train Ride from Hell but as it turned out it was fine and there were no snits on the trip down to London. Virgin Trains aren’t my favourite – they are cramped and the air conditioning is always on the fritz, but they do have good signage:

We had a few moments to spare before the train left so we made good use of the photo booth and soon had a sheet of 16 tiny photos of ourselves which I have been leaving all around the place, for no good reason other than it seems like the right thing to do.

We were a bit sad to say goodbye to my mum, who is off to Salisbury for a week, but didn’t have long to feel sad as we had to rush off to Heathrow to catch our flight to Luxembourg. At this point, if you’re like everybody else I’ve spoken to, you are likely wondering why we chose Luxembourg and the answer is mostly because it looked like a fairy tale land when we googled it and the words ‘hidden gem’ kept coming up. Besides, I hadn’t been there before, and it looked intriguing, but mostly because I have always wanted to do a tour of the tiny countries in Europe and why not start here. Only five to go.
London felt super busy after being in The North where we were hard pressed to see another person when walking out the door. There’s always such a crush of bodies anywhere you look in London and it makes it hard to get anywhere fast. Heathrow was busy, too, with a million people all trying to do the same thing.

I wasn’t sure what was going on with this sign – it seems like they are willing to help if you need it but it’s going to cost you…?
As per usual, after boarding our flight, we sat on the tarmac for 45 minutes waiting for I don’t know what…the captain to finish his fish and chips? The sheep to get off the runway? The baggage handlers to finish their argument about Brexit?
It was a good flight and I never get tired of the view out the plane window.

Anyway, when we arrived in Luxembourg we got a cab to our place in the city centre (and I use the term city loosely) but I worry that the cab driver may have been a Formula 1 racer in his spare time and shouldn’t be driving a taxi. After his third incident of honking at another driving and tearing around a corner a high speed, I gave him a  look and he slowed down a bit, only to speed up again and overtake several more cars on the shoulder. After a few more near misses we arrived at our apartment which was on the top floor of a five story building with no elevator so everyone was really happy about that but somehow we made it up the tiny winding staircase with all our things and collapsed in the apartment. Travis didn’t recover that night as he was fighting a man-cold but the girls and I composed ourselves and stepped out for a wander and a bite to eat.
One of the keys to travelling, and indeed life, is to keep your expectations down – that way you won’t often be disappointed, and can experience delight when you encounter something or some place that exceeds your expectations. Such was the case with the city of Luxembourg. The sky was clear and the stars just starting to come out, the architecture was lovely, and the winding streets and passages pleasantly empty except for small groups of people out for the evening. We found a restaurant for dinner where Zoe and Georgia took full advantage of the 16 and over alcohol limit and got into the Kir Royales while I went crazy with a bottle of San Pellegrino. It was good to eat something other than British food, although we may have ordered too much… also there was chips, which we ignored.

.
















It's a beautiful cityand felt like a mini Paris, but cleaner. We loved it.
We tried to go to sleep when we got back to the apartment but having gotten used to absolute quiet at High Houses, we were not ready for the noise of a European city at night. Any number of scooters, motorcycles, people, church bells, and work trucks conspired to keep us awake. There is a small square outside our place and part of it is taken up with giant concrete blocks that the City of Luxembourg feels compelled to move around the city between 11pm and 4am and they must also use a tractor to do so, equipped with back-up warning beepers which made me want to attack someone. Why? WHY.

Luxembourg: Ve vill move ze blocks tonight just after bedtime.
People in their beds: ok ya but do you have to move zem wiz ze giant beeping truck?
Luxebourg: vell how else will zey know le truck is moving ze blocks? Zey might get hit! Ve cannot risk it.
People in bed: But ve are in our beds zen! Ve do not need to know zat le truck is moving ze blocks then!
Luxmbourg: But le truck it is very dangereuse. It might hit you!
People in bed: But, Luxembourg! Ve are not behind le truck zen!
Luxembourg: Ve know! Zat is because you have heard ze warning beep and have avoided it!
People: But ve are in bed zen!! It is loud!
Luxembourg: Bed is ze safest place for you ven zere are dangerous trucks zey are carrying ze heavy blocks around. Very good decision!
People in bed: ugh. Forget it. Can zey just turn it down ze beeping.
Luxembourg: Vat? Ve Cannot hear hear you as le truck is beeping and it is very loud!

Sigh.

If you are wondering what language they speak here, this may or may not help:

Come back tomorrow and hear about our adventures trying all manner of electric transit options available in this city, an generally having a fabulous time.
Thanks for hanging around-
Jane

UK - Day 14: In Which There is a Mummy, and We Swim in The Irish Sea

For our last day in the UK, I really wanted to find a beach. Here, they call anything that isn't swimming in a pool 'wild swimming' so I hoped we might be able to fit in a a bit of a wild swim as well if the water wasn't frigid. So I road warriored it down the Cumbrian Coast to the town of St. Bees which is well known as either the end or the start of the Coast to Coast walk which takes ramblers across The North from, well, one coast to the other, if you didn't pick that up in the name.
St. Bees is also know for its ancient priory thought to have been established in the 11th century in honour of St Bega, an Irish Princess who allegedly floated across the Irish Sea a few hundred years before in a dinghy in order to escape an arranged marriage. There are various versions of the story floating around out there, including one that she didn't exist at all and another that she built a convent after asking the local lord for land and being told she could have whatever was covered in snow the next day; of course a huge area, in midsummer, was blanketed in the stuff the next morning. Right.

We visited the priory that does exist, and it was beautiful, but more interesting was the story of the St. Bees man, a 700 year old mummified body found wrapped in a shroud, encased in lead, placed in a coffin, and then entombed in an area near the priory. It was found in the 1980s by a group of archaeology students who weren't looking for it. The most amazing thing about it was how well preserved the body was - organs and eyeballs were still there, but most incredibly, the chest cavity contained blood still in a liquid form after all these centuries. Gross!

Apparently the shroud was soaked with beeswax and the theory is that the wax enabled the preservation. Remarkably, they were able to see what he had eaten for his last meal, which was likely to be some kind of sausage and chips if the diet of the locals here is anything to go by.
Anyway, after marvelling at ancient science and being suitably impressed with how old everything else was, we had a quick chat with the local vicar who was a retired RAF Colonel who had spent time in Canada and really wanted to discuss the change in colour of the Canadian Air Force uniforms, for some reason. He was a nice enough chap but I felt that we had disappointed him by not knowing more about the specifics of the uniform. We took our leave just as a large party was arriving for a christening of a baby boy. It was all ridiculously English and I wouldn't have been surprised if Hugh Grant had appeared around the corner with a group of Morris Dancers or perhaps Sir Ian McKellar with a tea trolley.

It was clearly time for the beach but first we had some lunch at the tea room located conveniently in the car park. Lunch options are limited in St. Bees so we had to make do.
A word here about British food, in particular from The North. England has an obesity problem and if I may, I would like to suggest that the addition of a vegetable or two other than potatoes and turnips to the general diet would work wonders on the health of the citizens. A salad here consists of some iceberg lettuce, a piece of tomato, maybe a slice of cucumber and giant dollop of some sort of creamy coleslaw on top of the whole thing, which is then drenched in another creamy dressing so as to render the vegetables unrecognizable. I don't want to sound smug as I'm sure we could all improve our diets but it really is noticeable here how little vegetables are offered, and eaten. Plus, french fries come with everything, even a salad - I kid you not.

Server: 'D'ya know wot yer wantin?'
Me: 'A salad please'
Server: 'Right, chips.'
Me: 'No no - a salad please'
Server: 'A wot?'
Me: 'You know, a salad - a mix of fresh vegetables: lettuce, carrots, sprouts, cucumber, beets etc'
Server: 'Awriyte yes I 'ave 'eard of it once from me mum's second cousin's best friend's mate from Scunthorpe. 'E 'ad one once, I think'
Me: 'Great - I'll have one too, please!'
Server: 'It comes with a side of chips, y'awriyte?'
Me: 'Just the salad please, no chips this time - I had them for breakfast and second breakfast.'
Server: 'I'll just check wit kitchen....
Server (comes back from kitchen shaking her head): 'no I'm sorreh - we can only do it wit chips.'
Me: 'but..I don't want the chips...can I just have the salad, please? I'm developing scurvy over here...'
Server: 'I can do the chips on the side. Or do you want mushy peas?'
Me: 'Can I just have a cup of tea please?'
Server: 'Right, of course you can. Tea and chips then it is (leaves before I can say anything else).
Me: 

Please, God, not another chip...
Anyway we were all hungry so we ate our vegetable-free lunches and went for a nap on the beach. And by beach, I mean hot rocks. The weather was perfect and the Irish Sea the perfect temperature for a swim. The only thing was how difficult it was to walk on the rocks down to the water. I started out well enough but after about three steps, it became increasingly difficult to step on the rocks with my lily-white baby feet without writhing around like some kind of deranged robot - each step I took, my foot became buried in the rocks and weight-bearing on the other foot almost impossible while I tried to remove my first foot out from under what was by now several pounds of rocks. I kept this act up for a few minutes, during which time Travis pranced past me saying 'what's the matter with you, Jane, it's not that big a deal!' I finally jerked my way to the water and made it in for a bit of a swim. On the way out, I was pleased to notice other people adopting my 'deranged robot' approach to walking on the rocks and I didn't feel so bad.

After a short nap, Travis and I left my mum and the girls at the beach and went for a walk up the headlands. It was stunning up there:

On a really clear day it is possible to see the Isle of Man in the distance and then Ireland is beyond that. When Travis isn't in the way, of course.

We savoured the drive home in the golden light of early evening. Click the link to see a clip of how we keep ourselves entertained in the car while I drive, again keeping my fingers crossed that no one is coming the other way: Road Warrior


We spent our last night at High Houses visiting the cows and wishing we didn't have to leave. We were a sad lot when we left the following morning to return the rental car and catch the train to London where we were saying good bye to my mum and the four of us were catching a flight to Luxembourg for a few days before we train it to Amsterdam.
I'll tell you about that tomorrow-

Thanks for hanging around-
Jane

UK Day 13 - In Which We All Go to the Fair and Travis is Pretty Much Famous

England: where cows are known for driving too quickly.

A few months ago when I was planning this trip I somehow came across a promotion for a country fair that was to be held on the grounds of a stately home, Hutton-in-the-Forest, which was quite close to where we were staying. We made plans to go and I was glad it wasn't raining sideways when it came time to set out. We have been really lucky with the weather here and it has been sunny most days. Any day that isn't raining in the UK is a good one. It was another drive through unbelievable scenery on the way there. I have seen many regions of the UK and I would say this is one of the most gorgeous - you feel like you are on top of the world up here.

As soon as we arrived, we headed straight for the cows: Travis is obsessed. They were quite lovely, if a cow can be lovely.

I don't think I've seen cows with furry coats before - I tried to listen in on a conversation between the owner (who looked to be about 13) and another visitor but didn't get very far down the road of understanding. More on that later

There were also some odd sheep - Charrolais - which looked like a pit bull cracked on (as they say here) with a sheep and this was the result.

After spending a large amount of time with the cows and sheep, we moved on to the main ring where something was going to happen imminently, we just weren't sure what. To pass the time, we listened to the fair announcer crack jokes and inform us of useless but interesting facts. When he wondered out loud if there were visitors here from far away places, we thought we should introduce ourselves. With Travis as our spokesperson, we approached the booth and stuck our heads in to say hello. The announcer immediately became quite excited when he heard where we were from and invited Travis in for a chat. On air. Broadcast over the entire fair.

Click on the link to watch Travis being interviewed. Travis takes Skelton

After that we could barely move through the crush of people who that had gathered outside the booth going wild for Travis. Or maybe that was just the ice cream queue. Anyway it was good for a laugh and Travis did an excellent job representing the country.
After the throng dispersed, we popped over to the main ring to watch the scurry racing where the tensions were high amongst the field of three competitors. I think we should introduce scurries as a form of transport, or at least it should be a thing at the Saanich Fair. Maybe Travis can use his new role as Country Fair influencer to make that happen.
In case you are unfamiliar, a scurry is a tiny horse-drawn carriage with a driver and a groom and they must navigate a course and go between cones that have balls resting on the tops of them, without knocking anything over. There were some tense moments out there on the course but in the end, a clear winner emerged coming in well ahead of the other two competitors. Between this and the Path of Doom in Carlisle, I've really been living on the edge here.
Click the link for the Scurry Racing Tense Moments at the Skelton Fair

There was a lot to see and do at the fair but I was there for the wrestling. Cumberland and Westmoreland wrestling has been a thing here for over 200 years and quite a crowd had gathered to watch. It's an informal style and each match lasted about 10 seconds, sometimes less. The little ones were first - under 10 yrs - which mostly featured Bobby, and Bobby's dad cheering him on from the sidelines. Bobby pretty much cleaned up his age category, and then the older boys came on, one of whom was wearing jeans and a dress shirt. He actually did quite well despite being over-dressed for the occasion.

The rest of the day was taken up with eating ice creams, inspecting the largest piece of rhubarb and best pie, sampling local cheeses, watching the dog show, and enjoying the beautiful surroundings and atmosphere.

The only thing that stumped me here was the accents. Here in The North, the common greeting is ‘Y’aright are ye?’ Everyone is so friendly that conversations are constantly going on around you at any time and they seem to consist mostly of a series of repeated ‘Y’aright are ye’ followed by ‘Yeah are you aright Yeah?’ and then ‘ yeah yeah isn’t it right grand out today? It’s well good this fair, int it?” and then something mostly unintelligible yet still somehow understandable due to the common patterns of intonation. In fact, it was possible to understand 90% of someone’s intentions just by following along with the intonation even if the words made no sense at all.

Harry at the Steamed Pudding booth: 'Eeh you aw riyte then?'
Me: Yes thanks I'm fine. And you?'
Harry: 'ye'h yeh I'm awright' Cracking good wi the gnarl out conder?'
Me: 'Umm, no I shouldn't think. Maybe tomorrow'
Harry: You won't need to brug da sheer will ye HAH AHAAHA'
Me: 'No I won't HAHAHHAHA'
Harry: 'Well ta and will ye have anutha afore ya do?
Me: Yes, how nice. Thanks!
Harry: Eh?
Me: oh I mean, yes, on Thursday.
Harry: Awright then ye be awright then yeah?
Me: Only if you do hahahah...
Harry: HAHAHHAHAHAH yeh awriyte! Tindy awn da gur!
Me: you too!
Harry:

That's right - made no sense at all but somehow we had a nice conversation.
After one more pass around the fair grounds, we reluctantly headed for the car, wondering if it would be a reasonable thing to fly in to Cumbria next year on this weekend just to come to the fair again.
On our way out, the fox hounds were being let out into the main ring. They can no longer hunt foxes here, but they still go on 'hunts' where they chase a fake fox or rabbit.
I know you're all dying to see them so here's the clip: Fox Hounds of Skelton

On the way home we stopped for a pub dinner in an adorable village and made a detour to see a donkey that everyone had seen on an earlier walk who was, alas, not at home, but it was beautiful anyway.

Last day in the UK tomorrow, before heading over to the 'continent' as they say here, and we spend it at the beach!
Thanks for reading,
Jane