Sunday, June 19, 2011

Day 1: In Which I Pose a Few Questions to Air Canada…

As I am in a severely sleep-deprived state of mind, I won’t make this a long post as I am likely to look back later and wonder WTF I was going on about. I would, however, like to leave you with the list of questions/observations about the airline industry that my wandering mind generated at some point into the 9hr flight from Vancouver to Heathrow London:

1. There is a region in Chile known as the Atacama Desert which has earned the title of Driest Place on Earth. Apparently it never rains there, and there is next to no moisture to be found anywhere. Well I’m sorry, Chile, but Air Canada has blown you out of your little hot dry boots on this one. It was soo dry on that plane, passengers could be observed holding plastic cups of water to their noses in an attempt to save their nasal passages from complete destruction. And if you did manage to find a droplet somewhere, it would soon be zapped by the stream of hot dry particles emitted through the “fresh” air vents. Why, when we can practically grow a dinosaur from nothing, send people into space and back, and build mile-high buildings, can we not work out how to include a little moisture in the air on a plane. This I wonder.

2.  Note to Air Canada Customer Service agents working at the boarding gate: I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that next time a plane’s departure is delayed due to mechanical issues, that you don’t actually announce to all the passengers that there is “some kind of oil leak from one of the engines”. Why would you do that? I think you should keep that information to yourself. I actually don’t want to know that there is “some kind of an oil leak”. Just tell us that we can’t fly on that plane and you are getting us another one. Or make something up! Like “it’s taking us a little longer than usual to remove all traces of fresh air from the cabin so please be patient”. Trust me no one needs to know about the oil leak. We tend to remember stuff like that later in the flight when we hit turbulence…

3.  I appreciated the video systems in the seat backs in front of us on the plane. I could have watched any one of dozens of featured movies, TV shows and documentaries. Very nice – good for the kids etc. But here’s the thing, Air Canada, I’m used to you guys editing out the naughty bits from the movies you play on your planes. And I guess I just assumed you would continue to do this with this new system cuz lets face it, we’re still all packed in there like eggs in a carton and it’s not like I am the ONLY one who can see what’s on my screen. So when the two characters on my screen started having sex, it was a bit awkward, especially with my 15yr old son on one side and 9yr old daughter on the other. And fast forward didn’t really help either. I was a little perturbed. Just sayin’. Perhaps the warning at the beginning of the movie could say something about that.

But so as not to be a completely Negative Nelly, I will say that overall, apart from the desert-like conditions, the oil-leak, and the porn-surprise, it was a great flight. Oh and we had to circle Heathrow for 30 mins while they found us a parking spot, and it was a bit bumpy up there in the clouds which caused both the woman behind me and also Zoe to barf, but APART from all that, we did make it safe and sound and it was great to see my Mum, and there was no train strike (yet) here in London, and it wasn’t pouring and freezing, and our apartment is great, and the east end is interesting and I’m going exploring tomorrow so, as Shakespeare would say, All’s Well that Ends Well.

Thanks for reading, see you tomorrow.


No comments:

Post a Comment