UK Day 2: In Which Baby Shark, Leonardo DaVinci, Candied Celery, and Dickens are Featured

We have had two very busy days of tearing it up here in London, and yesterday I was too knackered (as they say here) to write a single word when I finally crawled into bed at who knows what time it was…midnight? 2 in the afternoon? yesterday? Jet lag is a bitch. Here are a few conversations overheard in passing…
Conversation between 3yr old boy in his pushchair (I’m going to call him Precious) and his Mother (aka Clueless) at the exhibit of Leonardo DaVinci’s drawings at The Queens’s Gallery in Buckingham Palace:

Precious: ‘Mamma mamma maama maaaaaaam where are we I want to GET OUT’
Clueless: ‘I’m not sure, Precious, but there are a lot of people here who seem to be very interested. Hold on a moment, I’m going to interrupt one of them to ask them to take my picture’
Precious: ‘MAAAMMA I want to GET OUT NOW!’
Clueless: ‘Just wait a moment Precious I need to ask another person, preferably one with a headset on, to stop what they are doing and take another picture of me, perhaps this time I’ll stand right in front of these drawings of…what is it…The Last Supper… whatever that is, so you can only see me. Yes – what a great idea! Excuse me could you ple…’
Precious: ‘GET OUT NOW GET OUT NOW’
Clueless: ‘Here, Precious, Mummy has a few more people to bother. Why don’t you play with my phone?
Precious: ‘BABY SHARK BABY SHARK!’
Clueless: ‘Sure that seems like a great idea’.
Clueless reaches down and fiddles with her phone, then hands it to Precious who deftly swipes the phone a few times until, unbelievably, ‘Baby Shark’ begins playing.
Clueless (to another surprised  gentleman): ‘excuse me could you please take my picture while I stand in front of these old scribbles of legs and whatnot?’
Precious: ‘BABY SHARK DO DO DO DO DO DO DO BABY SHARK DO DO DO DO DO DO DO…’
Security Guard: ‘Madam, please turn that down' 

Clueless: ‘But then he can’t hear it and he will want to get out’ Ignores security guard and moves to next room.

I suppose scenes like this play themselves out in many galleries around the world, and who am I to say Baby Shark isn’t the best possible soundtrack for an exhibit of Leonardo DaVinci’s collected drawings from the 1500s. I should probably lighten up…
The exhibit was very good, and enlightening too. I hadn’t realized that DaVinci’s true genius wasn’t really recognized in full until the 1900s and while he was well known and sought after as a designer and artist during his life, many of his drawings depicting mechanisms and machinery were not even published until hundreds of years after his death. Considering how close he was to getting things like, oh, a helicopter and a gunship right, who knows what his influence could have been.

Apparently, for anatomical studies, bear feet were easier to come by than human feet.

I wonder what DaVinci would make of Baby Shark.
We always visit Trafalgar Square to climb on the lions and this time was no exception. It was as busy as always but with a happy addition of some silly signage, explained here:

Conversation in the Sign-Making department for Trafalgar Square between Pete and Stu, sign-makers, who are actually Lorry drivers but are just filling in for Mark and Keith who are on their honeymoon:

Stu: Oy, Pete, we done need anuva sign for the square, which says somfing like ‘Don’t Climb on the Lions, you dumb fuck’ except we can’t say the Dumb Fuck bit’
Pete: Right you are I’ll see what I can come up wiv.
Stu: Fanks, Pete.
Pete, a few days later, holds up a sign and reads it out to Stu: ‘Don’t clyme on them lyons they is right slipprey and you might fall off and bash your fick head in’
Stu: Not bad, but what about all them visiters who don’t speak English. Maybe you better make it wiv pictures, Pete.
Pete: Ok give me a few days:
Stu: Fanks.

Pete, a few days later, showing Stu the sign he has installed in Trafalgar Square:

Let’s look at that again, a little closer.

Seriously?

Stu: Great Job, Pete.
Pete: Fanks, Stu.

Talk about cut and paste

Great job, Pete and Stu. Really nailed that one.

We did have a happy stumble across Maison Assouline,  a fantastic book store of sorts which also has a great bar, and a collection of curiosities hidden away upstairs in a room where it was possible to be the only ones in the room (unusual in London). We happily passed some time there.

We had a quick peruse through Fortnum and Mason which was more like visiting the Cheese Shop of Monty Python fame as they seemed to be out of most things we wanted, with the notable exception of some sugared vegetables (probably not a big rush on the candied celery) and of course, marmalade.

Not today, thank you.










We also had one of our daily picnic lunches in Green Park near Buckingham Palace. This was some time after we had had to battle our way across the many streets that were closed off as our arrival coincided with the changing of the guards.


As it had looked like we were never going to get across (and miss our entry time for the Leonardo DaBabyShark exhibit) I had to have a word with the policeman guarding the cross walk: (True story!)

Me: ‘Will we get across these roads in our lifetime or is this it now?’
Him: ‘Be awhile yet’
Me: ‘Any chance you could be slightly more specific? Narrow it down to hours?’
Him: ‘Think of this as a shark-infested swamp’
Me: ‘Oh. So no then?’
Him: You can’t cross here but if you was to cross down there a ways, I couldn’t stop you , could I?’
Me (the light dawning'): Oh OK! I get it thanks! And I think you meant crocodiles or alligators for the swamp analogy’
Him:
Me: Right – thanks then!

At which point we all ran down the road a few metres and then sprinted across several closed streets in front of hundreds of tourists. Good thing they didn’t all go at the same time as us or Him would have been pissed with me.

This building looks like about 90% of the buildings in London, but is unique in that the roof is the site of the last live concert held by the Beetles in 1969. At least that is what the little blue plaque said. If I lived here I would make my own little blue plaques with absolute nonsense on them and put them up all over the place just to watch the tourists stop and take a bazillian photos of nothing.



We finished the day off with drinks at an open air bar inside the Underbelly Festival and then dinner at The George Inn, a pub that dates back to the 1500s in Southwark, and boasts of having Charles Dickens as a regular customer. It, as were all the bars and pubs, was packed as England was playing Norway in the Women’s World Cup. So nice to see giant screens set up and large crowds of men and women cheering England on. In Canada, that sort of thing doesn’t happen for women’s teams. England won 3-0!

That’s it for today – please come back tomorrow as we are going to Windsor and Travis is going to try and steal Prince Harry away from Meghan Markle.
Cheers,
Jane