In Which we Shop til we Drop, and Discover many Variations on a KFC Theme.

Today was devoted almost entirely to the God of Shopping. All of us prayed at the altar of consumption and some of us left some fairly substantial offerings behind. It all started with a trip to Spitalfields Market a few blocks away in Shoreditch.

This place has gone through many incarnations over several hundred years and finally settled into a funky destination market where one can purchase almost anything.

Me: Is that Chucky?

Cockney Vendor: Is it wot?

Me: Chucky

Vendor: Chunky?

Me: The doll. Is it Chucky. Like from the Movie

Vendor: Wot you on about lufv?

Me: Forget it. Just wondered if the Doll has a name

Vendor: Not wot I know of lufv. Wouldn’t want to name that would you.

Me: Nope

Vendor: Do you want it then lufv?

Me: Oh no. Just thought it was a bit odd.

Vendor: you can hafv it for 20 quid

Me: Twenty for that you must be mad!

Vendor: Wot?

Me: Nothing. Have a nice day!

Much more to our liking were these Lucky’s fabulous little chocolate-covered cakes presented by the lovely Rosa from Espana. They are handmade in a little kitchen a few blocks away. Killer. I sampled a bunch then bought three.

Next to be found were some fabulous felted animals that were stuffed with wool and lavender, and sand bags. Loved the chickens, but they were a bit heavy for the suitcase.

There are some great stores, sorry “Shoppes”, around the outside of the market with some great finds including:

Fridge magnet battle bugs

and a London underground map shower curtain which I thought was funny as I have yet to see a shower with a curtain here in the UK as everyone seems to prefer to use these moveable glass walls that slide and swing as necessary from the edge of the bath to keep the water in.

We had a reviving cuppa and then left for the other side of town, and the other end of the spectrum, Harrods, with a stop at the Victoria and Albert Museum for lunch which, I might add, was fabulous.

 

Zoe and the world’s largest meringue. She loves these things. they make my teeth hurt just to think about them. And yes, she is wearing a raincoat as it was bloody miserable here all morning.

Thankfully after we finished lunch, the sun came out

Love this Courtyard at the V & A museum.

Not so crazy about this ‘fixture’ hanging in the entrance to the museum. It looks a bit like something Dr Seuss might come up with after a bad acid trip. Anyway. I am clearly not the curator at this museum and so what do I know about decorative arts.

Next was a walk down the road to Harrods

 

where I did not purchase this tea (which you are advised to drink without milk – whatever. If I’m paying 5000 pounds a kilo, I’ll put whatever I bloody well like in it thank you very much).

nor this horse

 

but I did buy these

Then it was back on the bus to the ‘hood where we had another delicious dinner in Brick Lane this time at Jungle Braii, which calls itself an African BBQ joint. Hmmm. Whatever. It was delicious.

The kids and I decided a walk was in order before retiring for the night so we went for a stroll down Whitechapel High Street where, to our delight, we discovered that while KFC itself is notably absent, there were many knockoffs:

 

Kinda Like Finger Licking Good but not quite….

Halal Fried Chicken!

 

Stands for Perfect Fried Chicken.

LFC for short…

Kinda like Kentucky Fried Chicken…but not.

 

And we are in London, so everything has to be Royal…

We have had a great time staying in the East End and I highly recommend it. There is a vibrancy and diversity here that isn’t always as visible in other more touristy areas of London.

Tomorrow we leave London for Wales. I feel like I need about another 10 days to get all the things done that I wanted to see but as my friend Lila says, she has lived here for 14 years and still hasn’t seen everything. So I guess I will have to come back.  Maybe the weather will be better next time…

Thanks for reading-

Cheers,

Jane

In Which I Meet Henry the 8th and Encounter a Flock of Parakeets

Jacob and Zoe walking to the tube station in Whitechapel. And that’s my mum in the black hoodie behind them. No it’s not, actually. Just kidding.

Right. Today.

Those of you who know me will recall that I have a bit of a thing for Henry VIII. Not that kind of thing – the man is disgusting! – but I do find him completely intriguing. And apparently I am not alone in this as it seems that here in the UK one need only mention the slightest connection to Henry VIII and people like me come rushing from far and wide in the hopes of, oh I don’t know, standing in the same place that some long-dead historian may have once suggested that Henry VIII had possibly considered or may have mentioned in passing.

Some of the connections really are very remote, like the pub that I once visited in England that proclaimed that the original pub that once stood on the same grounds as this pub, had used the same supplier of horse feed that one of Henry VIII courtiers had used. Now that’s weak. I mean come on. What a stretch. And how did I know this, you ask? Well I was reading about the village and got to the part about the pub and saw “Henry VIII” on the write-up and that was enough for me! I was there! Of course when I got there, after loudly telling everyone that we would be eating at an establishment frequented by Henry VIII, I actually finished reading the write-up on the wall and learned the pathetic truth (about the pub and also, apparently, about myself. Sucker. There’s one born every minute, as my dad likes to say.)

So you will, I am sure, be thrilled to hear that today’s efforts at Hampton Court Palace were entirely rewarding. I even had the pleasure of meeting Henry VIII in person. More on that later.

Hampton Court was a favourite place of Henry’s and he spent a great deal of time there with his various wives. Much of the Palace is open and has been restored museum-style to reflect the Tudor lifestyle.

Most impressive was the Tudor Kitchen replete with blood splattered walls, and, as Zoë called them, “smell effects” (gross), as well as a roaring fire with spit racks.

But the best part was Henry VIII’s apartments. An amazing carved ceiling, ancient tapestries, and Henry himself, in full regalia, taking petitions from his subjects. I, of course, was first in line and Jacob filmed the whole thing which luckily for you, dear reader, I will not subject you to just now. Let me just say I was grateful that Jacob was there not only to record my brush with fame, but mostly because he knew the answer to the question asked of me by his Royal Largeness, which English explorer first “discovered” the New World? (John Cabot, of course).

Kinda looks like him even.

We spent the rest of the visit in the grounds which included a much-touted but really rather lame maze. I have a suggestion for the Maze-keepers, or whatever you are called, this sort of thing defeats the purpose of a maze:

After this stimulating experience, which a blind baby could probably solve in about 2 minutes, we came out into a park. Birds were squawking in the trees and I stopped and said to Jacob that they sounded like a bunch of parrots. He looked at me like I had no clue , shook his head slightly, and explained that they were, of course, blackbirds. At this point three green and blue parakeets swooped out of the trees. I said nothing and merely pointed and he conceded defeat graciously.

Apparently southern England has been invaded by parakeets who overwintered here one year by mistake and liked it so much they decided to set-up shop.

It was quite beautiful lying under the trees watching the parakeets flying against the blue sky. Another surprising and delightful moment.

There are actually two parakeets in this picture but good luck with that :)

We headed back to the train station and into London. The train stopped at Wimbledon on the way back to Waterloo station and I was tempted to take a detour, but Zoe was starting to spiral out of control and her hysterical laughter was garnering looks of disapproval and a few comments from the couple, Douglas and ?? (I’ll name her Helen), behind us on the train:

Helen (while Zoe was singing): I don’t remember singing on the train do you, Douglas?”

Douglas “I don’t remember you singing much at all”

Helen “Bit loud isn’t it. And that baby is joining in too”.

Me (Under my breath) That’s it, Helen, have a go at the baby.

Douglas “Mmm yes”

Helen “I suppose times have changed. Shall we get off here?”

Douglas “It’s not our stop…”

Helen “Come on”

 

And so Helen and Douglas went back to their semi-detached in Vauxhall and we made our way back to Whitechapel. Jacob and I went in search of dinner and located an amazing Indian Grill where an entire chicken could be seasoned and grilled on the massive flame grill, street-side, to your specifications for 4 pounds. We added a few curries and sauces and took it home to devour. Completely delicious.

Jacob and I sometimes laugh mercilessly, but with great affection, at the eccentricities of the English and one of our favourites is the British “Great Day Out!” Cobble together any number of tourist attractions and the English will package it all up into a Great Day Out! Hilarious. To our delight, we found a pamphlet proclaiming Hampton Court a “Jolly Day Out” Even better!!

I might even agree with them.

More tomorrow!

Cheers,

J

Day 2: Bells, Bees, and other Unexpected Delights

London is full of surprises. Sometimes it’s the unexpected kindness of strangers who always seem willing to offer unsolicited advice (I must look either a) lost or b) confused, or c) both as advice seems to come my way frequently – more on that later), or maybe its the unwelcome discovery that the museum you really were looking forward to is actually 25 pounds per person to get into, or a store that you thought might suck, was actually quite good. Or perhaps it’s surprising how many times your mother stops complete strangers on the street to ask them directions all the while ignoring you as you wave the map around and try to drag her off in the right direction. That last one is actually not that surprising anymore. Anyway. I digress.

And so it was with an air of expecting the unexpected that we set off this morning to do some shopping and general exploration around London. We are staying in Whitechapel in the East End, which I had previously known only as a less desirable property from Monopoly, but which I have since learned to be an area rich in history and intrigue and home to such characters as Jack the Ripper and the real Elephant Man. It is now highly ethnic with Bengalis holding the majority. This makes for some delicious food and I am looking forward to following my nose into some of these yummy-smelling if teeny tiny restaurants.

Whitechapel is also home to the Whitechapel Bell Foundry which has been making bells for hundreds of years including the Liberty Bell and Big Ben. An unexpected surprise was how close this foundry is to our apartment – a few steps past our door. So I was surprised and delighted to walk past the open doors this morning where the making of bells was in full swing, so to speak:

After the kids dragged me away from the bells, we headed off across town to Regent Street to visit Hamley’s Toy Store.

We fumbled our way through the Underground and emerged close to our destination. The crowds were thick and the going a little tough with all the dodging of buses and London Cabs and Take-No-Prisoners Londoners on both their cell phones and a mission. On one corner, the crowds were particularly thick and we stopped to see what the attraction was, only to discover that a wild swarm of honeybees had landed on a traffic light and was being tended to by a couple of beekeepers. It was fascinating stuff to watch and I kept expecting David Attenborough to appear behind a lamppost and narrate the scene for me. This didn’t happen however, but I soon learned that they were trying to isolate the Queen and move her to a box so that the rest of the gang would follow.

I suggested that perhaps it was Public Art, and how inpresive that would be, but the guy next to me looked at me like I had three heads so I didn’t say that again.

We pressed on past the buzz and made it to Hamley’s. I have made this trek several times now over the past few visits and each time I have been underwhelmed by the surplus of cheap plastic schlock that they try to pass off as “toys” in this most famous of toy stores. And there are five floors to endure which doesn’t help. The place has a carnival-type air to it due to the staff who stand behind tables flogging a particular item which they each claim to be the top seller in the store, the only difference being that at least these guys have all their teeth.

So I was expecting it to be terrible and it was as I remembered it until I got to the fourth floor where I was thrilled to see the addition of an awesome collectibles area based on popular films like Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings. We spent a long time searching through the boxed reproductions of all the various wands from Harry Potter, with Zoe finally purchasing Neville Longbottom’s wand. I almost bought myself a Marauders Map but decided against it when I couldn’t get it to work.

That’s Voldemort’s on the far right.

On our way back, we passed the bees again and it looked like the beekeepers had been mostly successful:

The new “hive”.

After a bit more shopping, it was back on the tube and back to the ‘Hood’. I do find the tube fascinating:

I love how the woman in the middle-left actually smiled for me when I took this picture from across the tracks at Liverpool Street Station.

Another welcome surprise in this amazing city.

Thanks for reading, more tomorrow.

Jane

Day 1: In Which I Pose a Few Questions to Air Canada…

As I am in a severely sleep-deprived state of mind, I won’t make this a long post as I am likely to look back later and wonder WTF I was going on about. I would, however, like to leave you with the list of questions/observations about the airline industry that my wandering mind generated at some point into the 9hr flight from Vancouver to Heathrow London:

1. There is a region in Chile known as the Atacama Desert which has earned the title of Driest Place on Earth. Apparently it never rains there, and there is next to no moisture to be found anywhere. Well I’m sorry, Chile, but Air Canada has blown you out of your little hot dry boots on this one. It was soo dry on that plane, passengers could be observed holding plastic cups of water to their noses in an attempt to save their nasal passages from complete destruction. And if you did manage to find a droplet somewhere, it would soon be zapped by the stream of hot dry particles emitted through the “fresh” air vents. Why, when we can practically grow a dinosaur from nothing, send people into space and back, and build mile-high buildings, can we not work out how to include a little moisture in the air on a plane. This I wonder.

2.  Note to Air Canada Customer Service agents working at the boarding gate: I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that next time a plane’s departure is delayed due to mechanical issues, that you don’t actually announce to all the passengers that there is “some kind of oil leak from one of the engines”. Why would you do that? I think you should keep that information to yourself. I actually don’t want to know that there is “some kind of an oil leak”. Just tell us that we can’t fly on that plane and you are getting us another one. Or make something up! Like “it’s taking us a little longer than usual to remove all traces of fresh air from the cabin so please be patient”. Trust me no one needs to know about the oil leak. We tend to remember stuff like that later in the flight when we hit turbulence…

3.  I appreciated the video systems in the seat backs in front of us on the plane. I could have watched any one of dozens of featured movies, TV shows and documentaries. Very nice – good for the kids etc. But here’s the thing, Air Canada, I’m used to you guys editing out the naughty bits from the movies you play on your planes. And I guess I just assumed you would continue to do this with this new system cuz lets face it, we’re still all packed in there like eggs in a carton and it’s not like I am the ONLY one who can see what’s on my screen. So when the two characters on my screen started having sex, it was a bit awkward, especially with my 15yr old son on one side and 9yr old daughter on the other. And fast forward didn’t really help either. I was a little perturbed. Just sayin’. Perhaps the warning at the beginning of the movie could say something about that.

But so as not to be a completely Negative Nelly, I will say that overall, apart from the desert-like conditions, the oil-leak, and the porn-surprise, it was a great flight. Oh and we had to circle Heathrow for 30 mins while they found us a parking spot, and it was a bit bumpy up there in the clouds which caused both the woman behind me and also Zoe to barf, but APART from all that, we did make it safe and sound and it was great to see my Mum, and there was no train strike (yet) here in London, and it wasn’t pouring and freezing, and our apartment is great, and the east end is interesting and I’m going exploring tomorrow so, as Shakespeare would say, All’s Well that Ends Well.

Thanks for reading, see you tomorrow.

J

In Which Pepi Busts His Stitches, and I Bust my Boot.

We were a rather glum group of travellers who packed up and drove away from our fabulous house for the last time on Sunday morning. All I can say is that I hope to be back soon.

Things picked up a little as we made our way north to Hanalei. Pepi and Mel are staying two nights longer than us and so had found a place in Princeville, which is just beside Hanalei, for the rest of their stay.

Princeville is not my favourite place on Kauai. I’m sure there is a nice little village that I just haven't seen yet, but most of it is acres and acres of condos all built around golf courses. Retired men and women can be seen walking around wearing visors and carrying golf clubs, and signs are posted with directions to the the ‘lounge’ or ‘shuffleboard’.  However, Mel and Pepi’s condo was clean and nice and the pool was great and it was good that we could crash there for the day until our flight late that evening.

We wanted one more splash in the waves at Hanalei before we left so we all piled in to the van for one last time with all our gear and drove down to the beach. No sooner had we all taken a few steps on to the sand when Pepi stubbed his toe, and blew all his stitches. 6 days later and it looked as fresh as the day he did it. We all stood there dumbfounded for a few moments as Pepi bled all over the beach. Fortunately the lifeguard station was right beside us and he was able to butterfly the cut closed and bandage Pepi’s toe up. What a drag for Pepi. The rest of us went in and took some abuse from the giant waves for a while but soon it was time to head back to their condo and get ready to drive to the airport. Mel dropped Pepi off at the ER room on the way to dropping us off at the airport – I hope everything went OK for him.

Packing up was a nightmare – I dare say we had enough stuff between us to withstand any kind of siege. Each time I swear I will pack lighter next time and then next time rolls around and I’m that person who has to drag her bags off to the side at the check in counter and re-distribute everything in her suitcases.

Our flight was a red-eye Lihue to LA and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Fortunately Jacob and Zoe and I slept the whole time and the only glitch was that I managed to blow out my boot zipper going through the security check point. And so I had to hobble around with one boot done up and the other one flapping around my ankle like some sort of injured crow. I then made the mistake of taking them off on the plane. I should have known better as my feet always get puffy on planes and this was no exception. I must have struggled with my boot for a good 10 mins before I finally got it on my foot. If the German girl who was sitting next to me is reading this: I’m very sorry for repeatedly elbowing your knees. I then had to fumble around with some safety pins to try and stop the boot from flapping around. I was marginally successful with this but it did look ridiculous.

When we finally landed in Vancouver several hours later we were all exhausted. Our friend Andre was there with our van to meet us and come back to Victoria with us for a few days. Everything did look very grey and as we stepped outside the airport doors, snow flakes began falling.

But now I’m waiting for the ferry and the sun has come out amongst the storm clouds and it is wildly beautiful out on the water.

Kauai I love you but it’s good to be home.

In Which we do Very Little but Enjoy Ourselves Greatly

We had plans today to fit in all the things we hadn’t quite got to yet, like all the great beaches we were going to visit, and the shopping we didn’t quite get to, and the restaurants we had planned to eat at. But somehow, instead, we ended up having a great day doing hardly anything at all.

We did manage to make it to a great market in Lihue this morning. It was an appealing mix of local food producers and we found everything from fruit & vegetables to cupcakes & pies, jam & honey, goat’s cheese, Korean food, gourmet salt, cookies etc etc.

It was an enjoyable way to spend an hour:

That’s a pomelo – a kind of giant grapefruit. Yes, it is bigger than Zoe’s head…

No egg board here, or whatever they are called. You want to sell your eggs you just go ahead.

One lady was selling sweet potato leaves. They were floating in a bowl of water and you just helped yourself.

A surfer dude tried to tell me these were cherries. I tried to tell him they weren’t, but he was insistent. Anyone recognize then? They have a very unique taste: sweetish but with a tartness as well. Not my favourite. By the time I got there he was giving them away. “No one is buying them anyway” he grumbled.

We left with our bags full even though we had made a pact not to buy anymore food. Oh well too bad.

Back at home, a Royal Palm had just burst into flower. I spotted the flower pod cover (I think it is called a sepal? Where is David Attenborough when you need him) on the ground under the tree and at first I thought it was some kind of giant seed pod. Closer inspection proved me wrong however and we all stared in wonder for a few minutes as clouds of pollen filled the air, and dozens of bees moved in. Very cool.

The rest of the day was spent fishing at a local pond:

and playing in the pool

Gonna miss this place…

Last day tomorrow!